Sunday, October 25, 2009

Hilarious Metal Bands

One of my favourite games to play is searching myspace for metal bands with ridiculous names. It's as easy as typing in any majestic word like Dragon and selecting Black Metal or Metal in the Genre drop-down box. (Black Metal bands are the worst offenders!)

So I played this game today and thought I'd put my top 5 best 'Hilarious Metal Band Names' up:

At number 5 we have NOBLE BEAST

Noble Beast!
5. Noble Beast

This is a wondrous band that entirely lives up to it's name! Plenty of horse-gallop riffs, and high voices. It's the kind of music you would listen to riding a Noble Beast into a Palatial Kingdom!

Hilarious song of note: 'On Wings of Steel'


At number 4 is WIZARD'S HYMN.

 4. Wizard's Hymn

Hailing from Japan, Wizard's Hymn sounds like the voice of the breeze made by a Katana as it glances off your face in a heated battle. Heavy, but with no shortage of ethereal synthesizers and noble piano interludes!

Hilarious song of note: 'Wake in Dreamland'


 Lucky number 3 is NOSFERATU'S LAIR.

3. Nosferatu's Lair

Hilarious name and hilarious songs! Heavy like being trampled on by an Ogre, yet with obligatory gentle and melancholy synthesizer parts. It's like being punched in the face and then being Knighted in a Regal Palace

Hilarious song of note: 'Swallowed by Silence'


At number 2 we have WRATH OF THE RAVEN'S DANCE

2. Wrath of the Raven's Dance

Finally a band that almost over-uses the noblest of all instruments, the Harpsichord. Raven's Dance  is truly majestic and is best listened to while reading Lord of the Rings in a 1500th Century Chapel, sipping from a silver goblet.

Hilarious song of note: 'Fallacy'


And finally at number 1 the winner is BARBARIAN WARRIORS IN SEARCH OF WISDOM

1. Barbarian Warriors in Search of Wisdom

This band epitomises all that is noble and glorious, claiming to have songs running over the 30 minute mark, with this kind of subject matter:

'Their cries and poems deal mostly with Paganism, the old times, ancient wisdom, the Medieval Age, ancestral cultures, and the quest for knowledge.'

Sounds like the perfect soundtrack to a toilsome quest through Middle Earth!

Hilarious song of note: 'Thaldoma' (it has dueling flutes!)


So there you have it, the Top 5 'Hilarious Metal Band Names'!


Dazzling Horse


  1. nooooooooooooooooooooo



  2. Bwahahahaa... Awesome. I love the first one, with the dude playing guitar on top of a T-Rex. Genius.

    You should check out for all sorts of great metal band names, like "Wolves In The Throne Room".

  3. Hey guys. Frontman of Noble Beast here.

    I actually made that picture in web-design class as a background for a project. After it was done, It was so stupidly metal that I decided it simply had to be my band's main myspace pic. So there you have it.

    We may have shirts of that at some point. We've certainly had enough requests for them.


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