Saturday, October 31, 2009

Tacky Fantasy Art

I LOVE Fantasy Art!

Not just 'good' Fantasy Art like on StarWars posters, but BAD Fantasy Art.
The kind of art that people who hoard dolphin ornaments like.

When I check the time I like to be 
hypnotised by regal Dolphins!

It's the kind of art that belongs to people who spell 'Fairy' as 'Faerie'.
It's the art you see on Biker Chick's t-shirts, the ones with howling wolves and full moons and dream catchers!

It's a secret (not anymore) pleasure of mine to bathe in the ethereal glow of hideously gaudy and tacky Fantasy Art.

Here is a collection of some of my favourites at the moment, enjoy!


I start you off with a classic example. This one has everything, a Noble wolf (most likely a mother-wolf), a full moon and a Native American with a peace pipe.

I especially like the reversed(?) reflection of the wolf in the moon. Last time I checked, the moon only reflects light, not wolves. Magic you say? I think so too!

Find this picture in the house of that person who has that 'Magic Happens' bumper sticker on their car.


 Probably drawn by a child Wizard

 Often the feature of Fantasy Art is the ever Majestic Unicorn. Dazzling Horse loves this one especially, although not as cool as a 'Pegacorn' (winged unicorn) the fact that it's doing a magical skid makes it really something special.


I call this one 'Wolf's Lullaby'

I like this one because the White Wolf is a Noble and rare creature. The use of what appears to be a Spiral Galaxy only enhances the Wolf's Majesty.
I also love that she is wearing a Dazzling diamond necklace... most likely a tool of hypnosis.


I leave you with a reminder that today marks the start of 'Movember'. So start growing your resplendant Moustaches!

Check out Lightning Heart's blog about Movember while you're at it and help her raise some monies!


Dazzling Horse


Wednesday, October 28, 2009

MacGyver Vs Sayid

As a child I grew up watching MacGyver with my big brother. We used to love it, MacGyver was so cool. My brother actually made me a grappling hook once out of coat-hanger wire, an octopus strap and candle wax!

MacGyver was a Stallion so majestic that even people who've never 
watched the show love MacGyver.


As a grown up, I've struggled to find an equivalent Hero that comes even a tiny bit close to the unbridled glory of MacGyver.

That is until I discovered Sayid from Lost!

'My name is Sayid Jarrah, I was a 
torturrrer for the Republican Guard'

Sayid pretty much kicks everyone's arse, all of the time. He never makes mistakes about anything. He also has mad skills building electronics out of airplane wreckage. He's good at finding hidden trapdoors too.


So I got to thinking. 
If it came to blows between the two masters of wizardry... who would be cut down like ripe wheat, and who would be the victor??

They both have serious mad skills:

-MacGyver used a chocolate bar to neutralise a sulphuric acid leak.

-Sayid used airplane wreckage to build gadgets to triangulate a 16 year old radio transmission.

But I think it all comes down to the fact that Sayid is played by Naveen Andrews, who happens to be a right Cockney Geezer (as seen on Lost Special Features DVD).

During the time it would take MacGyver to build a rocket launcher, by stuffing a can with fertiliser and a rag and putting that in a bamboo pipe. Sayid would have already glassed him in the face for wearing the wrong trainers and supporting the wrong football team.

So after much thought, I say Sayid would beat Macgyver in a fight.

MacGyver is still awesome though!


Dazzling Horse


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Monday, October 26, 2009

Desirable Objects!

Being poor sucks, but that doesn't stop me 'window' shopping on my favourite Nerd website: ThinkGeek 

It's basically an online store full of wonderfully geeky products that I desire to own.

Here's a small selection of what I currently desire:

Usually when someone says to me: "Hey Harry, put your finger in this mysterious box!"
I'm a fair bit apprehensive. 
Not any more!

What a rad idea for a game! 
Put your finger in the box and you get get a pixelated representation of your finger which you use to play weird little mini-games...awesome!


Ever wished you lived inside a Mario Brothers game?
Now you can with Nintendo wall graphics!


If I ever own a house, this is what my walls will look like!


And this last one just because its super rad:

Ah, it sounds super tacky and it looks totally awesome, perfect for midnight solo jams!


Dazzling Horse

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Hilarious Metal Bands

One of my favourite games to play is searching myspace for metal bands with ridiculous names. It's as easy as typing in any majestic word like Dragon and selecting Black Metal or Metal in the Genre drop-down box. (Black Metal bands are the worst offenders!)

So I played this game today and thought I'd put my top 5 best 'Hilarious Metal Band Names' up:

At number 5 we have NOBLE BEAST

Noble Beast!
5. Noble Beast

This is a wondrous band that entirely lives up to it's name! Plenty of horse-gallop riffs, and high voices. It's the kind of music you would listen to riding a Noble Beast into a Palatial Kingdom!

Hilarious song of note: 'On Wings of Steel'


At number 4 is WIZARD'S HYMN.

 4. Wizard's Hymn

Hailing from Japan, Wizard's Hymn sounds like the voice of the breeze made by a Katana as it glances off your face in a heated battle. Heavy, but with no shortage of ethereal synthesizers and noble piano interludes!

Hilarious song of note: 'Wake in Dreamland'


 Lucky number 3 is NOSFERATU'S LAIR.

3. Nosferatu's Lair

Hilarious name and hilarious songs! Heavy like being trampled on by an Ogre, yet with obligatory gentle and melancholy synthesizer parts. It's like being punched in the face and then being Knighted in a Regal Palace

Hilarious song of note: 'Swallowed by Silence'


At number 2 we have WRATH OF THE RAVEN'S DANCE

2. Wrath of the Raven's Dance

Finally a band that almost over-uses the noblest of all instruments, the Harpsichord. Raven's Dance  is truly majestic and is best listened to while reading Lord of the Rings in a 1500th Century Chapel, sipping from a silver goblet.

Hilarious song of note: 'Fallacy'


And finally at number 1 the winner is BARBARIAN WARRIORS IN SEARCH OF WISDOM

1. Barbarian Warriors in Search of Wisdom

This band epitomises all that is noble and glorious, claiming to have songs running over the 30 minute mark, with this kind of subject matter:

'Their cries and poems deal mostly with Paganism, the old times, ancient wisdom, the Medieval Age, ancestral cultures, and the quest for knowledge.'

Sounds like the perfect soundtrack to a toilsome quest through Middle Earth!

Hilarious song of note: 'Thaldoma' (it has dueling flutes!)


So there you have it, the Top 5 'Hilarious Metal Band Names'!


Dazzling Horse

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Resplendent Beards

Since I'm off sick from work for 6 weeks, and I have to shave everyday for work, I have made it my mission to grow a resplendent beard!

In honour of my noble quest, I will dedicate this post to the manliest of all manly things: Beards!

Now there is a a big difference between a regular, everyday beard and a resplendent beard.

Resplendent beards are almost always found on Wizards,  usually in the hue of 'Wizard White'. They are soft and are like woven silk to the touch!

Normal beards, as worn by the rough-hewn Russell Crowe are the most common. They are quite ordinary, and altogether lack the rich majesty of a resplendent beard.

Here is an artists impression of an amazing White!

George Harrison (RIP) of The Beatles crossed the boundaries of the ordinary beard into the palatial realm of resplendent beards, although he probably wasn't a True Magical Wizard, he was a minstrel that wove his magic with his songwriting skills:

(He appears to have a lady tip-toeing on his head...coincidence?)


In my search to find beards I came across a man(?) that deserves a special mention, although lacking in the beard stakes, he sports the most illustrious mane Dazzling Horse has ever seen:

I got to thinking though, this is no man! Only Majestic Steeds have such illuminating splendour donned upon their brow. I believe he may actually be a Centaur, a mythical beast with the head and torso of a man, with the body of a horse. 

What would happen if you crossed a Centaur with a Pegasus(winged horse)...

You would get a 'Pegataur':

artistic impression of 'Pegataur' by me


I leave you with a question: Do Wizards have their resplendent beard before they are a Wizard? Or do they grow the beard once they become a Wizard??


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Rant About Spoz!

Spoz is a man, a man who reviews thousands of bands in Adelaide - Spoz's Rant.
He is frighteningly dedicated to the Adelaide music scene and he pretty much never sleeps.

The first time I saw Spoz was when I moved to Adelaide about 4 years ago. He was at a show, Expatriate at Rocket Bar I believe. He was an untamed beast, swinging his wild mane on the dance floor to the electro-dance-pop-rock of Expatriate.

Since that day he has reviewed my band twice, one hideously horrible review, and one pretty awesome review.

His age is anywhere between 30 and 850, he sports a majestic and luxuriant mane of hair that is the envy of Dazzling Horse!

He takes millions of yellowy/red photos like this one, picked purely at random of course:

He also (I found out recently) is the drawer of amazingly epic and majestic fantasy pictures! This one is off his deviantart:

In all, he's a super guy, that may look like a hardened warrior returning from the throes of a pitched battle, but once you get to know him, he's alright!

I give him ***1/2 stars (hehe) for being alive in general and for supporting rigorously the Adelaide music scene.

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Wonderous Animal

So...this is my first post ever, I never wanted a blog until today when I realised that my arm is going to be trapped in a blue plastic to
mb for the next six weeks argh!

What better way to cure the boredom of being house-ridden with a broken wrist than to make a blog about all the noble a
nd majestic things that I enjoy!

So for now, while I may not be able to wield a two-handed Longsword (unlike Conan the Barbarian), I can write a blog with one hand :)

First up I'd just like to announce my delight in my favourite character on television right now:

-Sue Sylvester-

Played by the hilarious Jane Lynch (also in 40 Year Old Virgin and A Mighty Wind), Sue Sylvester is a wild temptress that can slay my dragon any day. Hehe

Anyhoo, that'll do for now!

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